But I digest........I need to know how to recruit more members. So far its my friend Trevor and I. Were looking to recruit around 500 loyal members. Any ideas?I'm looking to form a cult that worships Carrot Top's barber. How do I go about recruiting loyal minions?
Ok.
That move must have been very challenging for you Sir Bartholomew.
I think you should hold a meeting in your local town hall.
Say the talk will be on local crime and theft in your village/town/city/hovel/ (nobody is going to come to a meeting jabbering on about a boring old CULT!)
This will attract many macho, vain and masculine types.
You need to up the hype.
Wear a pure white linen robe and wear a beard.
(Long and trailing is the most preferred...white optional.)
Membership prices should be steep.
Some may need to be bribed...eg. free hair product samples, trips to local barbershops etc.
Also there will need to be ground rules in this cult.
CULT RULES.
1.) No botched-up haircuts
2.) No bleaching.
3.) No extensions. (Hair plugs will be reviewed.)
4.) Anyone who has a mullet will be asked to leave in a quiet un-intimidating manner.
5.) Everyone must recite the prayer.
6.) Anyone who looks remotely like Johnny Depp / Sweeney Todd will also be asked to leave in a quiet un-intimidating manner.
7.) If membership fees stop being paid your badges and free hair products samples shall be taken off you.
8.) If any of member has a bad haircut after he has paid his membership fees he will be asked to
(a) leave
(b) wear a bin liner over his head.
9.) Any hair discussions must be discussed in a quiet and civilized manner.
10.) Any rowdiness or horseplay will lead to suspension or expulsion in extreme cases.
I hope you take all this information into account.I'm looking to form a cult that worships Carrot Top's barber. How do I go about recruiting loyal minions?
Like, duh! The interwebs is the only place to begin your cult recruiting. Everyone knows that. Start your Facebook group and start spamming chat rooms with the URL. Advertise the group on flyers on those boards near shopping centers and just by writing something that peaks curiosity. 8 times out of 10 a person will read it, go ';What the F...?'; and look it up when they get home.
I tell ya. It's like people these days have no idea about the awesome power of the intermanet.
Bums, that is the answer Sir B... haven't you watched enough movies to know that when you need a body to fill a space you turn to a bum... they also make for great advertising as they stand around street corners have some shirts silk screened and you will be on your way in no time. I figure that if you serve chicken fried steak or burgers for free at your little meeting that you could get 500 bums strong... the soup kitchen sticks to white meats... I can see it now... raise your special beer or wine, bums would laugh if you tried to give them cool aid!
I think you mean digress? unless you ate a carrot to celebrate carrot tops stylist. I'm totally with you but I'm afraid of basements.
Kidnap them, my friend. Then brainwash them with pictures and stuff about the barber man.
Good luck.
Don't give them a choice..... roofies are inexpensive and effective! (as is chloroform)
if all else fails....... BAKE SALE!
put it all over the net, oh and i would say you're obsessed if you're forming a cult about hairstyles
Criaglist
I'd start by hanging out at the hairstylist's shop.
its digress, not digest.....silly spell check
well the obvious answer is RIGHT HERE.
I'm in , I'm in!
(then it is your turn!)
you could try the lunny bin
this is a good place to start, I will be your next cult follower
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